Life without living breath without life
by Bloody eyes
Summary: After the wars, Heero is separated from the rest of the pilots. They all meet up again at Hogwarts, Heero is ... different. Why are so many people after him? This is better than it sounds... honest! I SUCK at sumaries .CURRENTLY ON HIATUS - HAS NOT BEEN ABANDONED
1. Default Chapter

Life without living Breath without life  
  
Summary:  
  
After the wars, where do the pilots go, how do they become human, what is human? Heero has separated from the rest, and almost dies as he lives out on the streets, can he be rescued? One difference from normal Gundam Wing... all the pilots are wizards! Pairings 1x5 3x4  
  
Warnings: Rape, quite vivid, OOC ness, abuse – physical and mental, yaoi and ummm language, and of course a bastardised Relena.  
  
Heero sat there on the street corner, thin green tank top on with spandex shorts, torn, ripped and damaged, in mid winter in a biting wind. He felt dead, all he had been trained for was over, the war was over, and he was alone. He had lost contact with the other pilots at about five years ago, he couldn't remember when he last saw them, all his days blurred into one long day. He had been on his own since. He had tried various work, but nothing came of it, people didn't like his attitude, so in the end he had to sell his flat and try to make it out on the streets, at the tender age of 16. (The War finished when the pilots were 11, there is a reason for this.) Suicide was constantly on his mind, but he kept on thinking that it would make him even weaker than he was; no one in Oz could kill him, what gave him the right? Also, whenever he felt the urge to completely give up, an image of a certain black-haired Chinese man came into his thoughts. In a way this depressed him because he knew that Wufei would never like him in that way, and he would never see him again anyway.  
  
A small part whispered to him that he was too afraid that he was a weakling, a coward; his friends had abandoned him because they couldn't stand him any longer. He agreed. Here he was, the once proud Gundam Pilot, terror of the skies, reduced to lying on a street bench, begging for money to be able to keep his worthless self-alive.  
  
If there was a war now, he'd be killed on the first day, his body no longer had the energy of his youth; he barely had the energy to move each day. He was ill, and knew it. Every monotonous day was the same, sit up, try to rub warmth into frozen limbs, stumble the few yards to the corner, sit down again and hope for some kind soul to give him money so he could survive. Heero snorted at his pathetic ness. He was weak, to depend on others to survive.  
  
As he was sitting there, lost in the wraps of time and thought, he didn't hear the small patter of running feet coming towards his corner. "Excuse me Mr. Sir?" said a small voice, Heero looked up in surprise; people didn't normally talk to him. Standing in front of him was a girl about the age of 8 with blonde hair tied back in pigtails and a little golden retriever puppy in her arms. At the sight of the puppy, Heero's rasping breath latched onto his throat as he was assaulted by memories of his own little girl with the yellow Labrador pup who he had murdered cold- heartedly. "Are you ok sir?" the little girl repeated alarmed slightly. Heero slowly regained control and nodded his head, his voice to unused to speaking to reply by voice. "I got a present for you" said the child with an innocent smile on her face, and handed him a bit of money. Heero inwardly smiled at the generosity but gently placed it back in her hand "I can't accept your money little one, it's yours and yours alone". "Are you sure sir?" she asked; hurt shining slightly in her eyes, Heero gave a gentle nod while torturing himself on the inside as he pictured the child of his memories dying because she associated herself with him. Somewhere inside his damaged head, he believed that if he let this girl kept the money, it would help in his punishment for all the deaths of innocent's he had caused. "May I come and see you tomorrow sir?" she asked hopefully, "I can bring you some food" Heero struggled to find his voice, closed by hurt and misuse. "You have better things to do with your time young one" he rasped out, each word scraping at his throat like a needle edge digging into his pained heart. She smiled sadly, "ok Mr. Sir, take care!" To Heero's surprise she gave him a quick hug and skipped off with Heero's sad eyes following her.  
  
Heero sighed and continued with his inner struggle 'why didn't I accept the money? That would've got me enough food for this evening, I haven't eaten for 11 days now...' (AN: This is possible, the human can go for three weeks with no food as long as they rest and drink, Heero is weak though because he is ill, so he wouldn't be able to last much longer than two weeks maximum, and would then be in large danger of dying) one part of him wondered, and was swiftly rebuked with a stinging mental slap 'why didn't you take the money?! Why didn't you take the money?!?! You don't deserve the money! You're a murderer! You slaughtered that innocent child with a similar dog, you deserve to die, not rob young one's of their pocket money... how can you even think that you deserve the money?! You're a heartless, cold murderer! No one cares about you, all you were good for was fighting and killing!' Heero wilted at his own mind's harsh words... he was right, he didn't deserve to rob innocent people of their hard earned money.  
  
Putting one hand against the brick wall to give himself support, he got to his feet and slowly stumbled onward, fighting to flee from himself. As he tentatively placed each foot in front of the next, snow started to fall heavily from the dark coloured sky. Heero shivered, it was going to be a long day.  
  
As he forced each foot forward through the steadily building up snow, he wondered where he was walking to, and came to the conclusion, anywhere as long as he couldn't hurt any more innocents. After walking for quite a while, he moved off the main road and sat down, only for a few moments so he could catch his breath. As he sat there panting, his eyelids got heavier and heavier, the weight that was on his heart, pushing down onto his eyes, eventually he couldn't keep awake any longer, and fell asleep with his breath misting the cold air.  
  
~Heero's Dream~  
  
Dark, dark, dark, everywhere, darkness closing in. The air is stifling, breath isn't coming right, it's as if a huge weights on my chest. I'm all alone in this dark, dark place. No one cares about the ex war slaughterer. Out of the darkness loomed visions from the war; cold, dead bodies lying scattered around. Maniacal laughter ringing through ears, the laughter is my own. A little girl, lying, golden puppy bye her side, crushed to death. A great voice booming "Your Fault! Your Fault" Heero screamed aloud his agony, pain he had suffered from past injuries, mental pain he caused himself. Tears flowed freely from his eyes, unchecked; as they dripped down his cheeks they left a burning passage feeling as if they were burning him as a punishment for crying. He was weak... pathetic... alone... dead... a murderer. The picture folded in on itself, and turned to a graveyard, with several young children, all poorly clad, and a weeping mother, dressed in shabby black clothes, standing by a marked grave. The words burned into Heero's memory, "Here is where the body of Anthony Kokako should lie, a brave soldier, fighting for what he believed in. Now his remains are scattered throughout space, murdered as he slept." "I'm sorry..." Heero tried to brokenly whisper, immediately knowing that he had slaughtered the man with this reduced family. But they couldn't see him, they were left alone with their grief as he was with his guilt. Heero screamed again, and felt his eyes beginning to flutter open as he was pulled back to his body along with his guilt.  
  
Heero's eyes shot open, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry" he whispered brokenly into his hands, shivering violently. "I'm sorry..." Slowly, he got up again, deciding that murderers deserved no more time for rest, and began walking in time with his little mantra of "I'm sorry" as tears gently fell from his skinny face, past his bony blue arms, and onto the pure, innocent snow which caused so much hurt.  
  
As he stumbled on, he paid no attention to the fact that he was going further into an alley. He was lost in his pain. He paid no attention to the fact that there was a dark figure following him, he barely even felt it when his arms were roughly grabbed and he was pushed into a wall with bruising force. He was numb as invading lips were roughly forced onto his own. He didn't even try to struggle, every bit of pain he felt as the foreign lips bit down on his own, was increased ten-fold by his own self hatred. The pain he felt as his head banged against the wall was numbed by the pain of his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly past his attacker, screaming in pain, begging for someone to save him, not even seeing his assailant, just staring blankly ahead. He didn't even notice when a tongue forced its way past his chattering teeth, exploring every dark, shrunken corner of the little red hole. He didn't feel the slap he got for instinctively biting down on the invading object in his mouth, which knocked him to the floor. He didn't even feel it when legs started kicking him as he lay there, unhearing of the voice drunkenly slurring at him to get up. Eventually he was hauled up, and shoved yet again into the wall, swaying in his exhaustion and agony. He came to life with a jump when his spandex and tank top was ripped off, tattered into shreds, his whole body lying naked to the elements. His distant eyes quickly registered the pant less man, standing in front of him, his desire reflected in his eyes and shape of his jutting out manhood.  
  
Two hands shoved down on his shoulders and without the strength to resist, Heero collapsed onto his knees, only to have the long, pulsing item shoved in his face, and the drunken barks of "suck it!" Heero flinched back in fear and disgust, he hated himself, but wasn't sure he wanted this. "Suck it you fucking bastard! You know you want it you fucking whore... look at you, wearing those skintight clothes... your just asking for it!" In Heero's injured mind, those words started to make sense, they seemed right. He obviously was asking for trouble, maybe this was his way of being punished for his crimes. With reluctance, he opened his mouth, and the stranger shoved it in, right to the back of Heero's throat, making him gag. "Suck! Suck!" the drunk cried out, his throbbing member enclosed in the warmth of Heero's mouth. Heero slowly started to move his unpractised head up and down the throbbing object. Shrinking away as the man thrust forward hitting the back of his throat once again. Heero tried to throw up, but his stomach was empty, and mouth full. Soon, the man released his need into Heero's mouth, and he was forced to swallow it, a trickle of warmth crawling down the icy wall of throat. Then the man shoved Heero back into the wall, and just looked at him, lying there on the icy snow, trying to keep from crying. As he saw how pathetic and weak he looked there, without the strength to even move, he felt his manhood begin to swell with desire once more. He glanced at Heero, lust evident, and stalked towards him. He dragged at Heero's leg, so he wasn't being propped up by the wall, and lying his great bulk on Heero's minuscule frame, began playing with his nipples, sucking, while twisting the other around, and then turning his attentions onto the other one so it was being sucked and the other twisted and teased, until they were both throbbing painfully.  
  
Heero felt his traitorous body respond to his tormentor's caresses, and started sobbing quietly, only to be backhanded round the face. The man guided Heero's unwilling hands down to his once more throbbing man-hood, he forced Heero to grab it and rapidly move his hands up and down his length until it was completely hard.  
  
Then, placing his tool against Heero's, and with little warning for the previously unopened hole, he rammed into Heero's small opening with enough force to make Heero scream through his raw throat. Heero had never faced such blinding agony. Not when he had self destructed... never! With every thrust, with every cry of delight or pain, his body was ripped apart, his heart was shattered, and any remaining self-confidence was dead, he felt so dirty, to be used like this. This was his punishment for being a murderer. He wished he were dead. From an act that was supposed to be pleasurable, he received nothing but pain, and hearing the cries of delight of his opponent made it no easier as he was rammed into time and time again, each time the pain growing, his own body responded without Heero intending it to, his back arched as a certain spot was hit. The stranger allowed his hands to roam over Heero's body, feeling every bone, rib, bruise, eventually as he grew tired, using his hands leaning on Heero's body to hold himself upright, he once again kissed Heero, both of them panting heavily, one of desire and pleasure, and one of pain.  
  
Finally, the merciful blackness started to close in on him, due long ago, but not after his enemy had emptied his essence into him, gave him a final kick and strode off, with a bounce in his step, cattishly pleased in his fun. Heero laid there, his innocence staining the pure snow which melted down his cheeks alongside the hot salty teardrops.  
  
Heero stayed there for several hours, naked, weak, closer to death than he'd ever been. Eventually morning came, it turned to afternoon, and eventually to dusk, then the next morning returned, just like the cycle of life. No one came, he lay there, getting weaker and weaker, starving slowly to death, loosing blood from still oozing wounds, fading in and out of consciousness. At some times he wasn't sure what was real and what was dream so filled with fever was he, many times he believed he was with the other pilots, in a warm room, with as much food as he wanted. He even thought he saw the girl who died a few times. With her puppy dog yipping along beside her. Those were the worst times, she was always blaming him, Heero lost count of the amount of times he cried in those two days. He lost count of the number of times he cried out, he lost count of the times he saw the other pilot's graves, dead because he messed up. Whenever he woke up, there was a tabby cat snuggled up against him, licking him slightly, rubbing its body up and down against Heero's freezing limbs, trying to warm him it seemed to Heero. His voice, long dead, tried to tell the cat to leave him, he didn't want it to be hurt or get ill, but the cat just gave him a 'look' and washed its paws.  
  
On the eve of the third day, he opened his eyes to the still snowing skies, amazed to be alive and found to his loneliness, that the cat wasn't there. He heard the crunch of snow indicating some one coming. Half of him wanted to cry out "I'm here! Help!" the other half wanted to curl up and hide in case it was the man again. Some of him hoped that he wouldn't be found and that he'd freeze to death here. Already all of his body was completely numb, which was a relief, as he couldn't feel the pain. He was convinced he had some cracked ribs by the amount they hurt when he coughed, which was frequent. A person came into sight, trudging along in the deep snow, Heero scrunched up in a ball, it was the person from before! A cattish smile upon his face as he stalked up to Heero. Belt hurriedly being undone, pants swiftly coming off, "miss me?" a voice slurred. Heero tried to roll away, move, anything! However, his body was frozen stiff, his energy levels were dead. Heero didn't have the energy to move a finger. All he could do was allow himself to be physically and mentally raped once more. The man finished relieving his needs, and swiftly got dressed once more, leaving the whole alley way stinking of blood, sweat and fear.  
  
Heero managed to survive till morning, and knew he wouldn't last much longer. His self-hatred welcoming Death to come, yet still the image of a Chinese friend pushed itself forward. Heero mentally shook his head, Wufei couldn't want him now, he was filthy! Contaminated! A slut! A whore! He would die alone here. As his thoughts tormented him, he wept once more.  
  
However, Heero's time on Earth was not over yet. A man following the cat who had ran off after sometime during the night, the cat who had saved Heero's life, and without he would have been dead within a few hours. Came walking down the alleyway, however, in Heero's fever-fogged mind, he saw a small man, stalking like a feline, fever induced imaginary big arms coming to hurt him and big legs coming to kick him, big manhood, coming to steal his pride, his voice, long past the capabilities of speaking, or making a sound, whimpered silently. Begging in his head that he wouldn't be hurt. His breathing quickened, his pupils diluted in fear, his belly, swollen from his hunger fading in and out. Desperately he tried to curl up into himself, hiding his head, maybe if he couldn't see them, he'd just disappear and they couldn't see him. His eyes rolled back, and he missed the horrified gasp as the longhaired old man saw the bloody body, surrounded by snow stained a startling red.  
  
Dumbledore's eyes quickly took in the swollen, naked body, blue with cold, and his eyes froze in horror when he saw where he was injured. Looking down at the cat who had swiftly run to the young boys side, he saw the cat take the shape of a human, and a young Professor McGonagal came into view rapidly taking off her cloak to cover the naked boy, he quickly snapped out of his shock and pulled his jacket round the naked body. "Quick! We need to get him to Hogwarts, he might be a muggle, but we can't leave him here." McGonagal smiled using her wand, levitated him. "Even if you'd said leave him, I'd have taken him anyway Albus, you don't want to know what the poor thing's been through, and I refuse to leave him here!" With that, she looked to Dumbledore, who made a portkey out of a nearby piece of rubbish, and together with Heero, they went straight to Hogwarts, the Infirmary Wing, in the middle of the Christmas holidays, on Christmas Day.  
  
Poppy Pomfrey was waiting there for them, and had a bed ready warmed (AN: I've changed around ages and stuff as usual lol, this is set before Harry is born, several years before he's born, however, Fred and George are in their first year, and Charlie, Bill, and Percy are all there) McGonagal hurried off to Gryffindor Tower to find the other young men who had joined the first years at the beginning of that school year, Duo Maxwell, Wufei Chang, Trowa Barton and Quatre Winner (AN: I'm not going to even TRY to spell Quatre's other names... lol). She had a sneaky suspicion that the boy who she had found in her cat form was none other than Heero Yuy, and was no more a muggle than she was an elephant. She went rushing into the dorm that the pilot's were sharing (all too paranoid to sleep with other people) barely pausing to knock on the door and to hear a muffled come in. As she entered she saw Wufei sitting at a desk working, Duo lying in bed exclaiming joyfully over presents he had got, and Quatre and Trowa sitting quietly reading books they had given each other. "Is there trouble Professor?" asked Quatre, politely as always. "no" she answered, "although I think I may have some good news, but am not sure..." she broke off slightly, in a slight turmoil, all the boys had been worried about Heero, and she didn't want to crush their hopes. "I think I've found Heero," she said slowly. Their reaction was instantaneous, Duo immediately sat up, Wufei stopped working, Quatre and Trowa rapidly stood up, "he's in the hospital wing" after saying that, she turned around and left, allowing the boys to get changed.  
  
As she left, the boys looked at each other "do you think he's really...?" Quatre said hesitantly, Wufei shook his head, "I don't know... but we've got to see!" shoving his wand in his pocket, he quickly ran out the room leaving the other three to get changed and Quatre hiding a smile, he knew how Wufei had felt about Heero. As soon as they were changed, the others swiftly followed.  
  
Wufei arrived in the hospital wing not even out of breath from his sprint. He shuddered to a halt as he saw the boy on the bed, Professor McGonagal looked at him with questioning eyes as Madame Pomfrey worked her magic over the boy. "It's him" was all Wufei could stutter. He stumbled over to the unconscious boy in a daze, "is... is... is he...?" "No he's not dead" cut in Madame Pomfrey briskly "he's alive, but in a bad state, I'm unsure of yet if he'll survive. He has some ...nasty injuries, is freezing, lost a lot of blood, fever and I think either pneumonia or hypothermia and on top of that, a few broken bones. The bones, cuts and bruises I can heal in a minute, but not the mental injuries, or the weight problem..." "He'll survive!" said Wufei, fervently staring into Heero's closed eyes, "He's strong, he will survive... won't he?" suddenly unsure, he looked to Professor McGonagal for support "we don't know Wufei... we can only hope" McGonagal said uncharacteristically gently. "What happened to him?" "It is not our place to tell you, if he wants to, he can when he's awake." It was at this point that Duo, Quatre and Trowa came rushing in to see Madame Pomfrey bending over Heero, fixing his bones.  
  
Wufei answered their questions in a monotonous voice, eye's never leaving Heero's face. His pale skin, skinny bones gave the impression of illness, but the flushed of his cheeks gave a false appearance of health. Wufei felt his knees go wobbly, and sat down on a nearby bed. "Come on Yuy, come on... you can survive, your Heero. You always survive..." he whispered. Quatre came and sat down beside him, "I'm sure he'll be ok." He said quietly, so only Wufei could hear. Madame Pomfrey soon finished with Heero, "that's the best I can do, it's up to him now." She said. As soon as she left his side, Wufei got a chair, and pulled it over to Heero's bedside, grabbed his hand trying to warm it, and waited.  
  
Wufei remained there for several days, barely eating, and never sleeping, not once leaving Heero's side in case he woke up. Eventually as the fourth day dawned, the sun's early beams spread out, gently entwining their heat around the sleeping body of Wufei, fingers still wrapped around Heero's, breathing deep and even. Quatre and Trowa were lying on the floor, also asleep, a blanket covering the two of them, peaceful in an interlacing embrace, and Duo was snoring softly in the corner, cap pulled down over his eyes, and a blanket covering him, with his left hand clutching a cross as hard as he could. A student came bustling in to see a friend, disturbing the tranquillity of the room, but as soon as she saw the sleeping boys, quietly yet quickly crept out, pulling the door behind her having covered Wufei with a blanket. She went out with a smile on her face at the innocence of the boys who had seen and done so much, yet still retained innocence even if only in sleep. An image of Heero's drawn, pale face flashed across her mind, maybe they hadn't all retained innocence. Maybe the war had damaged them more than they let on.  
  
As she stood staring through the window at the scene of serenity, she noticed the little finger of Heero's right hand twitch, once, twice, and again! The skin around his eyes creased up slightly as he frowned, and gave a slight moan of fear. The student sadly ran off to get Madame Pomfrey; coming back into a nightmare was Heero.  
  
Heero's nightmare  
  
Fire, death, pain, torture. People dying all around. Screams hurtling through the blackness as if being chased by something  
  
Flash of white light / change of scene~, in a strange, warm kitchen that I've never been in cooking food that I've never seen or tasted, suddenly the window breaks in (its raining outside and now inside as well)... the rain turns to hail, then it starts hailing dust, instead of ice... the dust gets wet and a sticky red substance starts to fall alongside it... and you can just tell its not natural dust, it feels... dead, yet alive. Suddenly I realise what it is, cremated bodies, instead of raining water or hailing ice, it's raining the dead. Bits more recognisable as coming from bodies. Eyeballs, actual skin, hair. Soon, the "rain" stops and the "dust" layering the ground starts to form a half dead body of Wufei, decaying, as soon as a bit of skin drops off of him, the dust regenerates it into another. His eyes are glinting wickedly with lust, and his skin is sagging. He chases me around and around and around in a big dark room which suddenly appears, and the walls start closing in until I have nowhere left to run I am in a box alongside him, me panting heavily, exhausted; him, calm, twisted smile on his face. Everywhere I turn there is blackness, no light, it's closer, closer, closer! He raises a knife which he got from somewhere and holds it to my throat. "How could you do this to me... its your fault!" Then he slashes me, again and again, again and again. I fall to the floor, my chest bleeding in the words whore and murderer, blood drips down, staining the clean floor, I'm lying on my back, when he rips off my clothing, and, grabbing a whip from I don't even know where, lays into my head, and face, until I'm blind with my own blood. Then he takes off his clothes, and proceeds to hurt me in ways I didn't think he could, laughing as I cry out in pain. Then he leaves, I'm alone... all alone...  
  
~Change of scene, flash of white light~  
  
In a big black place, various faces keep on appearing whether I look, angry faces, hating faces, blaming faces. I run from them, but they keep up, whispering angrily now, whispering phrases such as "keep running, we'll catch you up// you always hurt the ones you love// give in, you're to weak// weakling// whore! Slut! You ask for whatever you get! ~ 1 face isn't mad or anything, just sad, she keeps telling me to run, if I don't, those who I care about will suffer. I keep on running, breath rasping through my lungs, legs aching, having to relive various flash backs from my past, but the words keep running keep sounding through my head so I have to escape the flashbacks. Eventually I get back into a small black place, but there is a light place at the end of it. I run towards the light, and there is a sacrifice platform thingy, there is Wufei, Duo, Trowa and Quatre tied up, with the man who hurt me holding a knife out to me, hilt first. He tells me to choose. I have to choose which one to kill, and then kill them myself. I say to kill me instead but he smirks and says no, if I die so do they all. I have thirty seconds to decide which one to kill, none of them can speak for some reason, but they can look. There is fear in all their eyes, yet Wufei nods at me, and then so do the others. In then end, I can't choose I shove the dagger through my own heart to the man's howl of rage. Then its all black once again, I feel four heavy things fall down on top of me, it's their bodies... Wufei says eyes dripping with hate "how selfish you are Yuy! You got the easy death! We all die in agony, bits of our bodies falling off, and acid flowing through our veins! Bah! You're nothing but a weakling!" he reaches out for me, and grabs my hand, forcing it to touch him in pleasure areas, I try to shrink away, he says "as I've got to die, your to selfish to even give me this last bit of pleasure!" I shake my head, and gently start to touch him, crying as images of what that man did to me and made me do to him, however his eyes explode, showering me in blood, then he dies screaming in agony all I can do is watch him, and now the others all dying, all in great agony, while I stay alive, with a dagger jutting out my chest, in no pain, and alive. Hands shaking my shoulders, screaming my name, hands slapping my face, screaming how I'm hated, liquid drips from my eyes, I feel it burn as it falls, its not tears, but blood. I am weak. I must die.  
  
Wufei shook Heero's shoulders hard, desperately trying to waken him. Tears were running down the face from the closed eyelids of the stoic pilot. "Heero!!!" Wufei yelled "Heero! Wake up, it's a dream!" Cries kept on escaping Heero's lips, forming words, but Wufei and the other G-boys who were anxiously hovering were unable to understand them as they were in Japanese. Madame Pomfrey swiftly ran in, "move!" she snapped at the distressed boys, the others stepped back, but Wufei said firmly "I'm not leaving him!" the nurse glared, but her expression softened as she saw the worry, "fine" she replied softly, "but don't get in the way!" Wufei nodded, and sitting down once more on the chair, stroked the thrashing child's flailing hand, trying to soothe him.  
  
Heero's eyes rapidly flew open as Madame Pomfrey made a gesture with her wand. Wufei readied himself to restrain him if necessary, but Heero didn't move. His eyes were open, but he was staring up at the ceiling as if nothing else was there. His lips were forming the word 'gomen nasai' {AN: sorry in Japanese} but no sound was coming out. "Heero?" Wufei said tentatively "Heero? Are you ok? It's Wufei." Madame Pomfrey looked him over, "he's gone into shock, give him a few minutes and he'll be alert." Wufei nodded and prepared to wait again. He didn't have long to wait, first Heero's fist started shaking, and then the rest of his body came to life. He sat up with a jolt, saw all the people, and collapsed straight back down again, hiding his face in his quilt. "Heero?" Duo asked slightly surprised. "Hey, Hee-chan it's us. Hello?" Heero kept on trembling out of either fear or cold, Duo wasn't sure. Wufei quietly stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. Heero shied away as if he'd been hit, his whole body was tensed as he tried to control himself, "gomen nasai, gomen nasai, gomen nasai" he kept on whispering. Wufei gently clutched his chin, "Heero," he said gently tugging his head so it faced him "Heero, it's me. Wufei. Wu... Wuf... Wufei-chan." There was a moment of lucidity in Heero's eyes, and he stared at Wufei's face. "Wufei?" he whispered, "your not mad at me?" "Course not" was the swift answer, "you've done nothing to make me mad." "Sorry..." said Heero with downcast eyes, "for nothing!" answered Wufei, "you've nothing to be sorry for, I'm just happy your awake." "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry" chanted Heero, tears slowly dripping down his cheeks. "I didn't mean to. Sorry. I'm weak. Sorry. You're right. I'm sorry. I was bad. Sorry-""you've done nothing!" interrupted Wufei, pulling him gently into a hug, the weeping boy's body tensed slightly, but soon relaxed into the embrace. The other occupants of the room let out a breath they hadn't realised they were holding. Heero was going to recover!  
  
Wufei kept his arm's around Heero, a part of his mind noted the irony of the situation, how he'd so often wanted to hold the Wing pilot, just not like this, another part inwardly cried at how scared Heero was, how thin he was, although Madame Pomfrey had healed all the bruises, the way Heero had flinched, as if a bruise had been hurt. It didn't take a genius to work out how Heero had been injured. Wufei clamped down on the anger, and softly rubbed his hand up and down Heero's back, feeling all the sticking out ribs, murmuring nonsense words of comfort. "You're dead." Whispered Heero brokenly. "I'm here, and definitely not dead" Wufei replied softly, "I'm living, breathing, and am here for you," "but you died because of me, they all did, every last one of them, he hurt me because I am a murderer, I slaughtered them!" Heero broke off sobbing once more; his chest heaving as he struggled for air, "You didn't!" broke in Duo immediately "it was a war! They chose which side to fight on! You were fighting to save million's of other lives, for every one who died, it was because you were saving other people's lives. Don't you go blaming yourself, you had your life, your childhood ripped from you so you could save other people, it's not your fault!" "but I killed her, the girl with the puppy, she's dead, she was innocent and I slaughtered her!" the raw anguish in Heero's voice was enough to almost render Wufei to tears as he gently rubbed up and down Heero's back trying to soothe the broken boy.  
  
Eventually Heero's eyes drew to a close once more, wrapped in the warm embrace of Wufei, who gently laid the exhausted boy back on the bed, and turned to look at his fellow pilots, temporarily ignoring Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagal. Quatre was still on the floor, hand over heart, tears falling down his face, his empathy coming into action. Trowa had a gentle hand on his shoulder, with a carefully placed mask over his face. And Duo was being as un Duo-ish as thought possible, wearing a serious face, quiet, and thoughtful. It was in that silence, they made a pact together, to never desert their friend again.  
  
~Time jump for 3 days, 1 week till end of Christmas Holidays~  
  
Heero gently swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and recoiled slightly at the icy feel of the Hospital Wing floor. "Come on Heero" said Wufei with an encouraging smile. "It's lunch time, and you said you wanted to get up today," Heero shook his head, fear entering his eyes, "I can't... there will be people there... I can't, Fei, I'm... afraid..." Wufei closed the difference between them, and gently placed his hand on Heero's shoulder feeling the slight flinch but ignoring it. "Heero, yes there will be people there, but there will also be me, and Maxwell, Quatre, Trowa and Professor McGonagal, and if you think we're going to let you get hurt your completely mistaken. No one in Hogwarts will hurt you anyway, you're safe here! You haven't come out of the Hospital Wing since you arrived here, it's not good for you, your strong Yuy, you can beat this enemy, it's just like Oz, except the enemy is your own fear." Heero clung to Wufei, "do you promise you won't leave me?" Wufei smiled gently, "of course I won't.. Not now. Not ever!" Heero gave one last shudder, and slowly got to his shaky feet. Wufei turned around allowing him to get changed, but close enough so that Heero could keep one hand on his shoulder for balance. Then at Heero's quiet affirmative that he was ready, he put one arm around his shoulder, and slowly walked towards the exit.  
  
Heero walked slowly, his leg muscles weak, and his steps unsure. He kept a hand on Wufei at all times, otherwise he'd have fallen. His face was still gaunt, and he was still incredibly skinny, body as thin as a rake, but he'd lost the flush of fever from his cheeks. His eyes darted all over the place, looking for people, and his breath quickened slightly as they left the Hospital Wing, but Wufei stopped just outside the door, and let him look around, to prove to himself there was no danger. At Heero's nod, they carried on, and Wufei led Heero to the Dining Hall, stopping to show him some of the sights, such as the moving paintings which Heero had never clapped eyes on before. The first time they passed a painting which actually spoke to them, Heero's legs collapsed in fright, and it took Wufei and the painting several moments to calm him down again. Eventually they arrived at the Dining Hall.  
  
Wufei stopped at the doors, and allowed Heero to peer in, and see the amount of people there were. Luckily the Hall was almost empty, there were a few of the teachers, and a few pupils all sitting on one table, with two spaces reserved for Heero and Wufei next to Duo and Quatre.  
  
Heero entered the hall very slowly, legs trembling at every step, muscles tensed to flee at the first sign of danger. Wufei kept his hand on Heero's shoulder, allowing him a bit of comfort, but Heero needed to prove to himself that he could do this, so Wufei was careful not to do to much for him. At one point Heero stopped dead in the middle, muffled whimpers coming from his mouth as he looked around. "What's wrong Heero?" asked Wufei quietly "It's ok, don't worry, calm down. There's no one whose going to hurt you here," Heero soon got himself under control again, and they carried their slow progress to the table, with several students looking on with barely hidden curiosity. When they arrived at their seats, Duo beckoned to the seat next to him with a welcoming smile on his face, "good to see you up Heero, come and sit down, the food here's GREAT!" Heero smiled slightly, Duo's interest in food hadn't diminished at all. The other past pilots smiled at Heero as well as he sat down. The plates in front of him mysteriously filled with food, Heero's eyes widened, he'd never seen so much food before. "Help yourself to whatever you want," Quatre said with a smile on his lips. Heero felt his lips quirk upwards slightly, and he placed a small amount of food on his plate, his stomach still could only hold very small amounts of food, and if he ate a lot he'd most likely throw up.  
  
The rest of the meal passed quickly, and it was at the end of the meal that Dumbledore stood up, looked significantly at McGonagal, who left the room, and swiftly returned with the Sorting Hat. "I thought," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling merrily, "that it would be a good idea to decide what house your going to be in before the rest of the school came back Mr. Yuy, I thought that would be easier on you, am I correct?" Heero looked to Wufei, uncertainty shining in his eyes, he hadn't thought that this would happen, "it's ok" Wufei whispered, "you just have to wear the hat, and you'll hear a voice, nothing will hurt you at all." Heero looked to the headmaster, and gave a shaky nod, fear obvious. Professor Dumbledore walked down the table, and placed the hat on the scared young man's head. Despite Wufei's warning, the young man nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice speaking, "hmmm, interesting, yes... very interesting." Said the sorting hat, "plenty of bravery, but then a lot of fear, self doubt hmmm... a lot of intelligence as well and a thirst to prove that your not weak, you'd do well in all four houses young one. However, now lets think of your history, the Slytherine's would intimidate you, the Ravenclaw's would not be good for your self confidence, Hufflepuff wouldn't be challenging enough for you, yet all your friend's are in Gryffindor, they might smother you, hmm... your very interesting Heero." 'please let me be with my friends, please let me be with Wufei' begged Heero over and over in his head, little beads of sweat welling up in fear of being separated from the few people he trusted, "calm down Heero, I think it will be best to put you with your friends, yesss... that mean's you shall go to GRYFFINDOR" the last word was shouted out, and Heero felt his comrades satisfaction that they were all in the same house on top of his own relief at not being separated, which was his greatest fear. The hat was lifted off of Heero's head, and he could once again see the smiling eyes of Albus Dumbledore, it was his instinct to flinch away at seeing him so close, but Wufei's calming hand prevented him from bolting from the tall old man, "welcome to Gryffindor Mr. Yuy," said Dumbledore smiling in satisfaction.  
  
End of chapter 1.  
  
Next time:  
  
The bodies were all pressing against him, Heero started losing control of his sanity, pain screeched through his mind, he couldn't get away! Suddenly, a hand placed itself upon his shoulder, "miss me?" said Heero's voice of nightmares. Heero's legs collapsed, and he fell into the realms of unconscious.  
  
Poor Heero!! I put him through so much don't I? Please review, this is my first fanfic. Also, I need a beta reader, if your interested please say so in a review. Constructive criticism is wanted, I'm trying to improve my writing skills as I want to write stories, and poetry, if you've any advice on improving skills, please say. This story is a test for me of how far I'm willing to go, not all my stories will be angst filled. 


	2. Chapter two

**Life without Living,**

**Breath without Life**

Sorry this has taken so long to update... I've been very busy... sorry; I hope to update the next chapter sooner.

**Disclaimer:**

Sorry, forgot to put this in the first chapter. I don't own Gundam Wing or Harry Potter. There are a few of my own characters but most of them belong to either J.K Rowling, or the people who wrote Gundam Wing. I'm never quite sure who that is.

**Warnings:**

Rape, quite vivid, OOC ness, abuse – physical and mental, yaoi and ummm language, and of course a bastardised Relena.

Last Time: "Welcome to Gryffindor Mr. Yuy," said Dumbledore smiling in satisfaction.

The next day, after another night's sleep in the hospital wing, Heero was asked to go to Professor Dumbledore's office with Professor McGonagal and Wufei. At ten am sharp, Wufei took Heero there, where they met Professor McGonagal just entering. "Password's Cluttersome Candy" she said smiling, "just in case you ever need it."

Upon hearing the password, the statue moved slightly, revealing a doorway. The three of them entered, and came into the study of Professor Dumbledore. "Good Morning Heero, Minerva and Wufei" said the smiling old man, "how are you feeling today Mr. Yuy?" "Fine thank you sir," mumbled Heero. "Good good" Professor Dumbledore replied jovially. "Now, we're here to talk about you getting your school equipment Mr. Yuy, and some other clothes apart from your friends, which do appear to be slightly large on you." Continued Dumbledore, looking at Heero's attire, which consisted of a pair of Duo's jeans held up with a belt with several holes added on, but still overly baggy and giving the appearance of almost falling down, along with a t-shirt which was hidden by a black jumper of Wufei's. The jumper went right down, past Heero's arms, his whole body looked like a young child who had been caught dressing up in his father's clothes. "Now, normally we'd take you with Hagrid, our games keeper, but Professor McGonagal here thought it would be better if she took you along with your friends. Diagon alley, where you'll be taken is rather big you see. One last thing, the small matter of money..." Heero cheeks coloured slightly "I have none... sorry, no one wanted me, they didn't want me..." Heero's body started shaking slightly as he lost himself in his self-hating thoughts. "No one could stand me, they'd be hurt..." "Heero!!! Heero!!! Snap out of it!" interrupted Wufei, unable to hear his friend hurting himself like this, "We want you, me, the guys, and the staff here. Do you know how long we've been looking for you?" He placed his hand on Heero's shoulder, which was apparently the wrong thing to have done. Heero jumped a mile, and darted into the nearest corner huddling his body into himself. Silent tears making their way slowly dripping down his face, as he rocked himself back and forwards, back and forwards. Words tumbled out his mouth, him not really realising what he was saying. "I killed her, sorry Sir, yes Sir, Mission Accomplished. Sorry! Please... no!!! PAPA-SAN MAMA-SAN!!! They'll all die, if I know them, then they'll pay, All I touch dies, I'm a murder, I slaughtered them. No one needs me..." Wufei rushed over to his friend, "sir, I need some water please." He said to Professor Dumbledore, his war instincts taking over "and then please bring Duo, Quatre and Trowa here, quickly!" Professor McGonagal ran out the door as Professor Dumbledore swiftly magiced up a pint-sized glass filled with water. Wufei took it, and threw it over Heero quickly. For a few seconds, Heero sat dumbly, not even realising where he was. But then, the water took the desired effect, Heero coughed, and spluttered. He looked up, surprised to be sitting on the floor, with water dripping down his face. "What happened?" he whispered. Wufei thought for a few seconds, and then answered, "we were talking about money, and you started panicking." Dumbledore looked at Wufei sharply; surely this would just send him into back into that... fit. Nevertheless, Wufei had the measure of the situation better than he, Heero looked ashamed. "Sorry," he whispered. "Don't worry" answered Wufei calmly, "what the Headmaster was trying to tell you, was that you do have money. Not a lot for sure, but enough to buy you what you need. It's in the wizarding bank called Gringotts. Remember we told you about it? When we were showing you some of the school books, it's the one run by goblins."

A look of recognition dawned on Heero's face, "I remember," he said softly "but how do I have money?" Here Dumbledore stepped in, "I don't know if the other's told you about Lord Voldemort?" "Yes, they did." Answered Heero quietly "well, we have reason to believe, that he personally killed your family... I'm sorry Heero, I really am." This news made no difference to Heero. He had believed his parents to be dead for years, since he was one year old; it made no difference who killed them. "They were a very fine wizard and witch, aurors, that's like muggle police, the both of them, and had accumulated a small amount of money to be left to you. It was their dream that you would be accepted into Hogwarts." "Oh..." Heero didn't quite know what to say to this statement, but it was becoming clearer to him, that he was stuck in a room with a tall man right in front of him. He controlled his reflex action to shy away, and instead focused on Wufei's hand on his shoulder. "When shall we set out to Diagon Alley sir?" asked Wufei, making a smooth subject change. "Whenever you two and the other's are ready." Answered the headmaster.

As if on cue, a knocking sounded on the door, and Duo, Quatre and Trowa followed by Professor McGonagal entered. They took a quick register of the situation, noting Heero's slightly damp clothes, and the hand on his shoulder, "you guys ready to set out?" asked Wufei. They nodded, and after swapping Heero's jumper, they set out.

At Diagon Alley

Heero stared in undisguised amazement at the huge building standing in front of him, "this," said Wufei smirking slightly at Heero's wonder "is Gringotts." They entered the building, and the first thing they saw made Heero stop dead in his tracks, "its alright, whispered Wufei soothingly. "It's a goblin, and about as likely to hurt you as I am." Heero nodded, and together they slowly walked forward as Heero's legs still weren't very steady. Professor McGonagal caught the eye of one of the goblins and had a few words with him that the others couldn't hear. The said goblin went running and soon fetched another one with an almost soft look in its eyes. He beckoned for them to follow him, and they soon got into the cart. One hair-rising ride later, which all except Duo (who had laughed the whole time) hated, they were standing outside small door. Professor McGonagal produced the key, and they entered. There, lying on the floor, were a few small piles of coins, some bronze coloured, some gold, and some silver. Professor McGonagal asked for a 100 galleons while Heero stared in amazement at how much money he had. "Do you want anymore than this?" she asked Heero, who shook his head slowly.

Then it was back into the cart and the dark tunnels, and soon they reached the surface again. "Thank you," said Quatre, always the polite one as they left the bank. "I think we should split up here, to take less time," said McGonagal, "if Duo you go and get him some food" here she smirked knowing just how much the braided boy would enjoy that. "Yes m'am!" replied said boy as he saluted grinning happily "Wufei and Heero, if you two go and get a wand and pet if you want one Heero, Quatre and Trowa can go and get books, and I'll go and get robes as we've already taken the measurements. Then we can meet up in the book shop so that if you want any other books, then you can choose them yourself" she said smiling. The boys nodded and Duo sped off towards the sweet shop, while Quatre and Trowa walked at a more leisurely pace towards the bookshop. "We won't be long Professor," said Wufei as they walked at Heero's slow pace towards Olivander's wand shop through the almost empty street.

When they arrived, they opened the door setting off an unseen bell. The shop they entered was dark, musty with several layers of dust coating most objects. Heero walked slowly towards one of the chairs, feeling very tired now.

Suddenly a voice appeared out of nowhere, "hello there" "Mr. Olivander, we'd like a wand please" answered Wufei, "greetings there young Master Chang, found your missing friend I see." "Yes, we have" smiled Wufei "do you mind if I take your measurements young Mr. Yuy?" asked Olivander unusually gently, the said boy started standing up but Mr. Olivander shook his head, "no no, you may stay sitting, can you please hold out your wand hand." Heero did so but as Olivander touched his hand, his whole body froze and he threw his head back as if electricity was running through it. Heero gasped, and desperately tried to pull his hand away, but failed. "Wufei! What's happening!" he cried. Wufei shook his head. He tried to break the connection, but failed "I don't know! Hang on!" Getting out his own wand, he pointed it at the two connected hands, and muttered "expelliarmus!" At this word, Mr. Olivander went flying backwards knocking down a single wand, although Wufei was sure more would fall, none did. Heero to went flying backwards, he broke through the chair, and went sailing into the wall. "Heero!" Wufei cried running over, he helped Heero up while checking him over "are you ok?" he asked urgently. "Sorry, I didn't know that would happen, it's only a weak spell meant to disarm your opponent. I don't know what happened!" Heero was shaking slightly, but not too badly, he was more dazed and frightened than hurt. Wufei hugged him gently until his trembling stopped, then he helped him back into another chair, and went to tend to Mr. Olivander who had just got to his feet. "Are you ok sir? What happened?" "I'm not sure... strange... very strange..." having decided that no one was hurt, Wufei picked up the one wand that fell, and was just about to place it back into the box when it suddenly zoomed across the room to Heero who ducked. Instead of flying straight past him, it hovered above him for a few seconds and then plopped gently on his lap. Silence reigned for a few seconds, and then Mr. Olivander broke it, "well! That was the extremist case of the wand choosing the wizard that I've ever seen! Interesting... can you just pick that up please Mr. Yuy and wave it a little bit." Heero tentatively reached out to the wand, and did as Olivander asked causing red sparks to fly out of the tip. "Thank you that was fine." Olivander took off his glasses and polished them slightly as he picked up the box, "how much do we owe you sir?" asked Wufei taking out Heero's purse from his jacket pocket. "Nothing Mr. Chang, it would be wrong to charge him... for he is... yes... he is! I charge him nothing!" Wondering slightly at the man's apparent eccentric ness, Wufei put the purse away, "well... thank you sir..." "You're perfectly welcome my dear boy. I shall be seeing you; I wish you both luck, and Wufei? Take good care of him." "I will sir," with that the two puzzled teens left.

"Are you ok Heero? Do you want to go and sit down?" Asked Wufei after they had been walking in silence for a while, "or do you want to go and get a pet? If you want one that is." Heero nodded, "I'd like a cat, is that allowed?" he said so softly Wufei barely heard him. "It sure is" smiled Wufei. "Let's go get one"

They soon entered the pet shop (AN: I can't remember what it's called. If anyone knows please tell me in a review. Thanks) and were assaulted by about four female witches carrying young children running out the store. "You-know-who's mark's been seen!!! It's been seen! Here! In Diagon Alley!!!" One of them was screaming. One of the women rammed strait into Heero's skinny form, sending him flying to the floor. Wufei quickly ran to him and helped him to his feet. "Quick!" he said, "into the shop, soon the street will be teeming with people!" Heero with Wufei's help limped into shop, trembling at the close contact, "it's ok," whispered Wufei, "don't worry, breath deeply and evenly, and don't panic, your ok, don't worry." Slowly, Heero's breathing relaxed, and his trembling steadied until shivers only ran up his back every now and again. "Don't worry, well done." Said Wufei, letting pride for Heero's courage be shown in his face. To try to distract Heero from the noise outside he suggested they go and look at the cats so he could decide which one to buy. There was an amazing selection, some ginger, some black, some tabby and some tortoiseshell. There were many breeds, and they were all doing some sort of clever trick, some were standing on their hind paws, some were touching their noses with their tongues, and others still were nudging balls to each other with their noses. All except one, a Siamese, she was sitting there grooming herself in her own cage. Her coat was all matted, and she had a nasty scar on one of her hind legs. Heero limped over to her cage and bent down to look at her, she looked strait back at him, as if examining him, her lightning blue eyes staring strait at him, almost through him or so it seemed to Heero, seeing the scars, the fear, and the thinness. Then, she walked forward to the edge of her cage, and gently rubbed her head against his fingertips purring slightly. The owner of the shop came up, "don't you know the sign has been seen?" she said in a panicked voice. "How much is she?" asked Wufei, "five galleons" was the swift reply "but the sign has been seen! Here! In Diagon Alley!" "We'll buy her" answered Wufei in his infuriatingly calm voice, "oh just take her!" shouted the shopkeeper making Heero jump. "If you're stupid enough to allow yourself to get killed by you-know-who... I'm not hanging around to see it happen!" and she ran out the door screaming like the rest. "Women!" muttered Wufei placing five galleons on the desk, plus another three for the cage. Then they picked up the cat, and put her in it, "What you going to call her Heero?" he asked, Heero shrugged.

About five minutes later, Wufei walked to the door, and peered outside, "the crowds have lessened" he said, "Ready to go find the others? They'll be in the bookstore by now. Heero nodded, placed the cat with whom he'd been playing with back in the cage, and Wufei helped him up, they walked out the door, and headed to a side street which was on the way to the book-store. It was there, it happened. A voice whispered words, which Heero didn't hear, and suddenly Wufei collapsed dropping the cage which broke open leaving the cat free to run away! Heero cried out! However, before he could do anything, the same voice, shouted "crucio!" He was overwhelmed with agony. It felt like... like... Heero couldn't' find the words to describe it. He could barely even think... he fell to the floor; his already weakened body unable to stand up. As suddenly as it started. It stopped, leaving him with only the memory, panting heavily. He heard a rustling of cloaks, and felt shadows of several people fall on him and Wufei blocking out the sunlight. It was cold, so cold.

"Imperio!" snapped the same voice, "stand up boy!" To Heero's horror, he felt his body do as he was ordered. 'no... no... please!' he thought desperately, but his body disobeyed him, and he was left standing, legs trembling rapidly. Facing about 15 men all in black cloaks and masks. "Put your hands on your head and dance in a circle, as dirtily as you can. Make us want you before we take you!" Heero was forced to do so, unable to understand why he couldn't control himself. "Strip!" 'No... not again! No!' Heero's hands moved slightly, and pulled off the jumper. 'No! I won't! No! Wufei will hate me! He said I'm strong!' His hands unbuttoned the buttons on his shirt, slowly, tantalizingly, the men laughed as they saw the fear on Heero's face, the only thing which he was able to move. They laughed harder as they saw tears drip down his face. 'Please no... please...' Heero's hands moved slowly to his jeans, they undid the top button, then the zip, and then slowly pulled down the material, leaving Heero clad only in his boxers. 'NO!!!' Heero's hands were just pulling them down, when they stopped, half up, half down. 'NO!!!' screamed Heero again in his mind 'I CAN'T!' The men stopped laughing, a few of them moved in closer to take of his boxers himself, and another voice yelled out "crucio!" then the agony was back, but not for as long this time. Someone touched his arm, but pulled away. Then the agony went away, but the men moved closer. The bodies were all pressing against him, Heero started losing control of his sanity; pain screeched through his mind, he couldn't get away! Suddenly, a hand placed itself upon his shoulder; "miss me?" said Heero's voice of nightmares. Heero's legs collapsed, and he fell into the realms of unconscious.

A few minutes later, he woke up, in that same pain again, from that same man, with Wufei lying just a few feet away from him, unable to protect him. Heero cried out in agony, but was shut up by a boot to the face, the men in cloaks were all staring at his naked body, some licking their lips. When the first who had ever taken his pride... no not his pride... he had none of that left... exited him, another took his place. And then another. And another. And too many more to count. Heero was lost in the monotonous of it, he couldn't breathe properly. Air was tight in his lungs. He felt so dirty. Soon another item entered him, but this time, one was put at his mouth as well. Heero remembered the last time this was done, and did his best to keep his lips closed. Nonetheless, for all his efforts, he was turned onto his back, with someone still in him, eager lips were forced onto his. Teeth raked the skin above his lips causing them to bleed. A tongue was shoved past his defences, licking every reachable part of his inner sanctum, reaching so far back it made him retch. For this, he was punched, and then kicked several times. 'Please... someone...just let me die...' he thought wretchedly. Eventually, someone else's tool was placed in front of his swollen lips. "Bite and I'll make you hurt so badly, death would be a release" warned a voice, throaty with lust. The item was shoved in his mouth, and the man groaned as it was covered in warmth, almost up to the hilt. "What's it taste like slut? Lick it and tell me you fuck-" the rest of his words were covered up by his moans as Heero started to wrap his tongue, around it, unconsciously sucking in his struggle for breath. "is he that good then?" asked on of the men, "give us a go!" "I think not!" yelled a new voice, a female voice. It was the woman from the pet-shop. "GET AWAY FROM HEERO!" yelled Duo. "Duo! Be careful!" cried out Professor McGonagal. However, Duo either didn't hear her, or he ignored her. With a display of speed unexpected by the Death eaters, he ran forward, closely followed by Trowa and Quatre, equal expressions of rage on their faces. With a roundhouse, he knocked the one who was complaining for not having a go. The boys didn't bother with their wands, apart from when Duo used his to shove up the nose of one of the men, and when Trowa used his to shove it in the stomach of another. They went all in with their hands and feet, they way they'd been trained. It was only then that Minerva realised the bond between the five boys, and also the damage done to them by the wars, even though they were just soldiers. Rage was no longer on any of their faces. It was all routine, kick, punch, break a bone, hit in the place to cause the most pain to save a life. If any of the Death eaters managed to think enough to turn their wands on one of the boys, then Minerva or the pet-shop woman would quickly grab their attention by sending a spell flying their way.

The three ex-pilots soon emerged from the fight victorious and unscathed (apart from Heero and Wufei). The death eaters were lying on the floor, all unconscious. Wufei was lying on the floor, out cold, though as Quatre checked, still alive, and Heero... well Heero was conscious, curled up as far away from the others as possible. Professor McGonagal sighed, what did he-who-must-not-be-named know about Heero that they didn't? This was the second time he had been sexually attacked, and it wasn't by chance either. Minerva would have bet her life that it was one of the Death eaters who'd hurt him previously as well. "Thanks Alice" she said wearily. "No problem, I'm sorry I couldn't warn the boys previously when they were in my shop. But I had to come and find you to warn you so was acting like a stereotypical hysterical woman. I didn't think the boys would be attacked." "It's not your fault, but you'd better introduce yourself to these boys, there going to have to be told about the Order now, young as they are, I'm sure Albus is going to want them to join, after displaying those skills... they could teach us all something, I don't know why we didn't think of it before considering they were soldiers..." "I'll do that in a minute, just give me a chance to see if I can mend the Chinese boy." As she said this, she walked over to Wufei but was surprised to see the three remaining boys close around him protectively. "I'm not going to hurt him boys... I'm a friend of Minerva's, I mean, Professor McGonagal's, and am a trained healer. I'm going to try to heal him, I know what he's been hit with, its just a different version of the spell 'stupefy' instead of stunning your opponent, it knocks them unconscious. Quatre, Duo, and Trowa looked at each other, then when Quatre nodded, they stepped apart allowing her through. Though it was obvious to even Alice that they hadn't relaxed their guard. She approached slowly, and waved her wand obviously, saying "reparo" loudly and clearly (AN:: I think that's the right spell, please tell me in a review if I got the wrong word for making someone conscious again. Also, I'm not sure how clear it was earlier (when Heero was under the imperius spell), whenever something is in '....' It means thoughts; it's not someone speaking).

Wufei lay there for a few seconds, but soon his eyes opened and he blinked a few times. "What happened?" he snapped as soon as his mind was thinking clearly, "Where's Heero?!" Alice replied. "You were attacked by Death eaters, Heero is over there. I'm Alice Nando, a member of the Order of the Phoenix." Wufei looked over, and saw the mess Heero was in. "Heero!" he cried out. Heero was sitting their covered in blood, his eyes were staring sightlessly at the pile of unconscious Death eaters.

Alice Nando walked over to Heero, but stopped when his watering eyes registered her, and his voice cried out in terror. "Heero," she said as softly as she could "I'm going to make you stop hurting, I'm going to take away the pain, relief flashed through his eyes, "kill me then" he whispered. Alice was shocked, "no, I can't do that, Heero, you still have a life to lead, friends who care for you, its not your time to die just yet. "People are better off without me, I'm dirty, they'll be contaminated." "No!" cried out Quatre tears in his eyes. "Please no Heero! We've been through so much together. You, Wufei, Trowa, Duo, and me we all care for you! You're our brother... please... don't leave us now." Heero turned his lost eyes onto Quatre. (AN: major point here... NO ONE KNOWS THEY WERE GUNDAM PILOTS! They knew they were soldiers, but NOT that they were Gundam pilots. That's very very very very very important.) "I killed them all, they're dead, anyone who got to know me would die, the girl she died, that's what he told me. There was a voice in my head, he was telling me how I killed them, it was my entire fault. I'm dirty, I'm a...a... a slut! A whore! I don't deserve to live..." he broke down sobbing, and it was all Quatre could do not to go running to him. Instead... someone else did. As soon as Heero had started crying again, Wufei jumped up, he ran over to where Heero was lying. "Its not true Heero... ignore it! It's NOT true! You're not ANY of those things! You're one of the bravest people I know! You've never killed innocents for the joy of it. Heero... please! Don't say that stuff anymore..." to his shame, Wufei realised he was crying as well. "Heero... I love you, I have for ages. I'm sorry if you don't feel that way, but I can't go on hearing you say those things about yourself! There NOT true... I'll be your friend forever, I'll protect you the best I can... even if you never love me back... just remember that there is someone out there who loves you for who YOU are! Heero Yuy!" Wufei was sobbing openly now, hugging Heero to him as if he were afraid to lose him, and there were no dry eyes in that little back street. "I... I... I think I love you Wufei... whenever I was ready to end my life, you were in front of my eyes... I'm never so happy as when you were looking after me... when I was unconscious... I heard your voice, calling me to wake up...I... I... I do love you Chang Wufei... but I'm not ready for a relationship yet... I'm sorry... does it make you mad?" Wufei laughed softly, tears still in his eyes, "no... it doesn't Heero, I'm just so happy that you ... you love me as well. We'll get you healed, and when YOU'RE ready... not me, you, then we can decide where to go from there.

Alice came forward, eyes slightly damp, "sorry to break the mood... but, Heero, do you want me to heal you now?" Heero nodded slightly, still obviously afraid. Wufei held his hand "don't worry" he whispered. Heero allowed Wufei to help him lie down flat, though he started shaking slightly. Alice waved her wand to clear the blood away so she could see what needed healing. "Do any bones feel broken?" Heero shook his head, but when she gently pressed down on his chest he only barely restrained himself from yelling out load in pain "I'll scratch that answer then" mumbled Alice "there's one right there." She waved her wand and muttered a few spells. Soon Heero was free from pain, but once again a mental mess.

"Oh, Heero?" said Duo waving a bag by his side. "I gotcha LOTS of candy" it was that what set them all off laughing from the change of pressure, with Duo grinning innocently "what? What'd I say?" "oh, yes, Heero, here's your cat as well," said Alice, "and here's your books," smiled Quatre entering into the spirit, "and your robes" sighed Professor McGonagal, "I had to say that didn't I Mr. Maxwell" 'Mr. Maxwell' responded with a cheeky grin. "Umm... guys?" asked Heero tentatively "will you help me carry them?" "Naaaaah" replied Duo which made Wufei hit him over the head with the candy bag, "of course we will!" he said over Duo's spluttering. Alice turned to Minerva "are they always like this?" Well... I don't really know Mr Yuy yet, but from what I've seen of the others.... Yes they are." "Umm Minerva?" "Yes Alice" "can I resign from the post of Defence against the Dark Arts? Please!!! This lot might yet get the better of me" Minerva let out a loud bark of laughter, "bad luck Alice... answer's no!" Somehow, and no one was able to figure out how... Alice managed to look disappointed while laughing as hard as Duo.

Eventually after everyone had stopped laughing (Heero had never started and Trowa had only lightly chuckled) Professor McGonagal said that they should probably start heading back to Hogwarts and that Alice (who was to be the new Dark against the Dark Arts teacher) should probably head back with them as the start of term was in five days as soon as the Death Eaters had been taken away by Aurors. Alice agreed, and they set back out to Hogwarts about half an hour later, with everyone apart from Heero carrying a bag.

By the time they were sitting on the train, Heero was almost asleep, "go to sleep Yuy" whispered Wufei but Heero shook his head violently with an emotion similar to fear shining through his eyes. "Why not?" asked Wufei "dreams" was the only word Heero answered, "ah... I know you're afraid of them, but you can't stay awake for the rest of your life... Madame Pomfrey can always give you sleeping draughts, but its not healthy to always take them. Sometime or another you must face up to them, and I'll be here! I won't let you face them on your own, if their getting too much for you, then I'll wake you up, and that my friend, I promise!" it was Heero's combined tiredness and trust in Wufei that made him to fall asleep. As he lay there, breathe coming easily and deeply, Wufei gently stroked his hair, still silky after all it had been through. "Professor McGonagal?" he whispered, "why does Heero keep on getting attacked? What did he do?" "I don't know" replied Professor McGonagal "I think you-know-who might know something about him that we don't... but I'm going to find out!" "shhh!!" whispered the other occupants of the cabin as her voice rose slightly with anger. "Sorry" she whispered back. A little while later, Alice asked, "Where did you guys learn to fight like that?" the boys who were awake (Quatre Trowa and Wufei looked at each other, and Quatre answered "in the war." "Yes, but I've seen some soldiers fight, they were nothing like that! That was amazing! It was like a deadly dance... are you all that good?" "Heero's the best all round fighter, he's AMAZING to watch, and Wufei's the best at weapon's work, all apart from with guns, that's Heero's expertise. The rest of us are average fighters." Alice's mouth fell open, "that's average?!" Quatre blushed slightly, "yes... compared to Heero and Wufei, that's less than average" "wow! Do you hear that Minerva?" Professor McGonagal nodded slowly; her piercing eyes bearing into Quatre's blue one's. "You never answered her question Quatre" "we were elite soldiers, Professor. We had to have special training." "When did you start training? How old were you? That war ended several years ago, you must have been eleven. How were you elites at that age?" "We had a harsh training sessions for a few years, had to do some missions which only young people would be able to do." "But I thought the army didn't allow anyone under the age of eighteen enter?" "Well..." Quatre broke off "we were special cases" cut in Wufei. "yes... you must have been very special..." said Professor McGonagal suspiciously. "let me just assure of something m'am, we were fighting on what we believed and still do believe to be the correct side, and it was the same side that you fought for." Said Quatre, always the diplomat. That satisfied both the teachers. The rest of the trip was spent in comfortable silence, not even broken by a nightmare.

Back At Hogwarts

When they arrived back at Hogwarts, Professor McGonagal told the four boys (Heero was still asleep and being carried by Wufei) to go to Gryffindor tower, Professor Dumbledore would not be asking Heero any questions about what happened, but he still needed to be settled in the boy's bedroom. In addition, Alice, or Professor Nando as she would be known here, would be giving Heero a few catch-up classes. On hearing this, said Professor began to splutter in disagreement, but Professor McGonagal's voice rose above hers. She also said that the Weasley twins and Jordan would be moving into their room, their previous dorm was just too small for the nine Gryffindors in it, particularly when the other boys dorm only had four in it. Upon hearing this, Duo began to grin in glee, he knew their reputation as troublemakers, and Wufei groaned "but Professor? Maxwell-baka AND the Weasley twins AND Jordan?? Nataku give me strength..." Minerva did all she could to hide the laugh that was bubbling up through her chest, but she was unable to hide the smirk. Quatre and Trowa were the only ones who seemed to be indifferent to whether the Weasley twins moved in; indeed Quatre seemed to believed the dorm would soon have a lot of laughter coming from it, despite Wufei's doubts as he kept on letting out sly little smirks.

Then the two professors' went off to go and give a report to Professor Dumbledore about what had happened. As soon as they were out of ear and eyeshot, Wufei and Duo dropped their respective masks of annoyance and glee, and there faces all turned serious. "Where will we continue our training? Wand's and fists?" asked Wufei. "We will find a place," answered Quatre, desperately trying to think of somewhere. "I'm not sure yet, but there has to be somewhere!" "I've got another question" stated Trowa in his calm voice, "one, are we going to bring Heero into this war? Two are we just going to ignore what has happened to him or try to get him to talk about it?" "Leave me to talk to him, I'm not letting him carry that burden on his shoulders, with probably still a lot of guilt, I refuse to let him do that! It'd kill him!" answered Wufei immediately, "but I don't know what to do for your first question. I don't want to bring him into it, but how would he feel? He'd probably think we didn't think he would be able to do it... and if I'm honest... I'm not sure he is. He's a lot weaker than he used to be, mentally would he be able to kill again? Maybe I'm just making excuses... all I know is that I don't want him to get hurt again!" "Calm down Wufei" soothed Quatre "none of us want him to get hurt again, I think his strength will come back with our help, the other question I have to ask is will he make a difference? He's a whole term behind us magic wise. This war is against Voldemort! Not Oz or Romafellar. Maybe we should tell Dumbledore what we're planning? He'd be able to help" "we can't bring anyone else into it, otherwise, how many of the children here will have to fight? Our childhoods have been wrecked. We must fight to preserve theirs!" answered Duo "also, remember how smart he is? He'll be able to pick up magic way quicker than us. I figured out how we can answer all these questions. When Heero is mentally stable... we ask him. It's not right for us to decide his life for him, even if we have his interests at heart." "Yes..." answered Wufei "I think your right Duo, he hates not being in control! Remember his saying? 'My enemies are the ones who try to control my life.' If we start saying what he should do, then we're no better than that bastard J. the only difference is we won't beat him up!" Trowa nodded in agreement, and Quatre voiced his assent. "Well, that decided, lets get him into bed, poor thing... he looks whacked, it's been a long day for him." Said Quatre, "hey Quat?" said Duo cheekily "you going into your 'mother hen mood'?" "Well Duo, yes I am, he's the only one of us who's never had a mother or father figure he could look to, he's just been hurt and abused! Its time he had someone to look after him." (AN: this is a fic where Trowa was NOT raped by the mercenaries) "Don't steal my position Quat" said Wufei jokingly. On hearing these words, Duo fell to the floor, "Wu-man?! Was that a half JOKE?!" he said disbelievingly. "Yes Maxwell-baka, it was." Wufei replied smirking slightly. Duo stumbled to his feet, still looking at Wufei in disbelief when his foot fell in one of the disappearing stairs "K'so!" he muttered as Quatre and Trowa helped him out again. "Watch where your going Maxwell" said Wufei smirking as Duo glowered at him, "don't worry Wu-man, I will..." he laughed and went bouncing up the stairs to Gryffindor tower. "Maxwell! Come back a second." Called up Wufei, "oh but Wu-mannnn must I?" whined Duo "yes, and my name's not Wu-man!" "Ok Fei-chan" Duo came running back, "yes? Whaddya want?" "How's the Gundams coming? Are they nearly rebuilt?" Wufei asked. "Yep!" Grinned Duo, "only Nataku to be finished, the others are all done." "Good, meet you up by the portrait". Duo went bounding back up the stairs again leaving Wufei shaking his head wondering who gave Duo sugar.

When they reached the portrait of the fat lady, and told her the password, she was looking at them with an almost hidden smirk. "I know where you can go to train young Gundam Pilots. The four of them gaped at her, "how did you know?" asked Trowa, stunned. "You forget the differences between muggles and wizards Trowa" she said smugly "you can't say anything in front of a portrait here..." "Damn!" cursed Wufei. "Who else has been told?" "Only me, and my friend Violet, as soon as she over heard you, although I must admit, she only heard about it while you were on the way up the stairs, she came and told me strait away. I asked her not to tell anyone else, not even the other paintings or ghosts. No one will hear of it apart from us two. We'll make sure about that! You'll just need to be more careful." "Thank you for the warning m'am" said Quatre, "you mentioned you knew where we could train?" "Ah! Yes! It's called the Room of Requirement, and is on the third floor. Whatever you're thinking as you enter the door, it'll appear there. So, when you're on the third floor, next to the gargoyle with wings and three eyes, then there's a door right next to it. Think that you want a place to train, magic and fist fighting, and enter the door. There, you'll find probably a large room with padding round the room and various weapons, when you're in there, then you'll need to just think of something, and it'll appear! Good isn't it? It was made by Helga Hufflepuff (AN: I think that was her name? Please correct me if I'm wrong.) one of her more ingenious inventions" "thank you so much m'am!" exclaimed Quatre gratefully, you've saved us more trouble and worry than I can tell you!" "You're welcome Quatre" she replied, dimpling slightly as she smiled, "but remember what I told you boys, watch out where you're speaking, most of the paintings would go strait to Dumbledore with this information." "We will," promised Quatre echoed by Trowa, Duo, and Wufei. Then the Fat Lady opened up the portrait and allowed the boys to enter.

They went strait up to their room, without stopping. When they arrived, they found Heero's bed made up next to Wufei's. "Duo?" asked Wufei, "can you get Heero's pj's out, I'm going to bring him supper up here, he doesn't need to go downstairs to eat again, he's had enough today." Duo rummaged through the bags that had the robes and clothing in them. Eventually he triumphantly pulled out a pair of pyjamas and laid them down on Heero's bed. Then he, Quatre and Trowa started unpacking the rest of the stuff while Wufei drew the curtains across to give Heero some privacy. He took off Heero's top, glaring at the huge amount of scars covering his body. Then he took his trousers off as well, although leaving him in his boxers and placed the pj trousers over them, and the pj top over his scarred chest. Then Wufei crept quietly out of the enclosed bed space leaving the wing pilot still sound asleep. "I'm going down to get some food for Heero and us. If Heero needs me, I'll be in the dining room, give me ten minutes. With that, Wufei left the room, ran outside the tower and down to the dining room. Firstly he went up to the main table and told Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagal about what happen in Olivander's, he finished the tale by saying "sorry I didn't tell you earlier Professor, I forgot in the aftermath of what happened. "Don't worry Wufei" Minerva replied "you've told me now. Now go and get some food for you five, I imagine you'll be eating in your chambers?" Wufei nodded. "Good night Professor McGonagal, Dumbledore" he said bowing his head slightly, and then ran to get some of the food. He went back upstairs with three empty plates, and the spell to put food on them. When he arrived in his bedroom, all the unpacking was finished and Duo, Quatre and Trowa were sitting at the edge of Heero's bed chatting comfortably. "Well done Wufei" said Duo smirking "what?" asked Wufei with a confused expression on his face. "You were under ten minutes." "Maxwell? Do me a favour? Shut up!" replied Wufei chucking a pillow at Duo. Leaving Duo laughing too hard to retaliate.

Wufei walked over to Heero's bed and whispered his name "Heero, come on wake up." He shook his shoulder gently, but Heero just rolled over and muttered "leave me alone Fei, I wanna sleep." The stoic pilot of the Gundam Wing sounded so much like a sulky teenager, Wufei had to stuff his fist into his mouth to stop him laughing. 'Hmm... I wonder...' thought Wufei, "Heero? Maxwell's taking apart your laptop. On hearing that, Heero sat bolt upright with a yell of "MAXWELLL!!" Duo looked up from where he was sitting on his bed looking at the empty platters hungrily "what? Good to hear you shout again though... but what'd I do?" Heero turned to Wufei with questions in his eyes, and was amazed to hear "gotcha" come from his lips. Heero pouted slightly "Fei-chan!! I was sleeping!" "Yes... you were Yuy but you need to eat, and I'm not letting you go without food, not when you're still thin." Said Wufei mock sternly, "I'm not hungry though" replied Heero, tiredness making his voice sound much younger than his sixteen years. "Eat anyway, come on, just a little bit, or am I going to have to hand-feed you?" smirked Wufei muttering the spell to make food appear. On the plate appeared exactly the right things to feed Heero, a bit of broth, some bread, and some labelled vitamin pills. "Thank Nataku for magic." Muttered Wufei "makes things so much quicker!" he watched like an eagle as Heero spooned the broth into his mouth, followed by each of the pills and some bread. Soon, when just under half of the broth and bread was gone, Heero stopped, "I'm full..." he mumbled, "sorry, I shouldn't waste it... sorry... do you want me to finish it Fei?" he asked. "Don't worry Yuy; I can finish it so it won't be wasted. If your full, you can leave that, you ate a good deal. I'll just help you to clean your teeth, which I'm not letting you get out of, and then you can go back to sleep." Replied Chang. Wufei helped Heero out of bed, and to the bathroom, then watching him clean his teeth. "Sorry to be so bossy Yuy, but these were the instructions Madame Pomfrey gave me, to make sure you clean your teeth, your teeth were practically falling out when we found you, eat a decent amount each meal, plus all those pills. That's the quickest way to get you better again, and that's all I want, for you to be healthy and happy!" "Its ok" said Heero quietly as Wufei helped him back to bed. Within minutes, he was fast asleep again, leaving Wufei to finish his own meal in the company of the other pilots.

The next morning, when they woke up, all the crumbs, and the plates had gone, and three extra beds all ready made had been placed in. "I hate it how that happens..." muttered Duo as he got a shiver down his spine. He looked around the room, to see that he was the last in bed as usual; Wufei was sitting on Heero's, with Heero sitting next to him as Wufei read to him. Trowa and Quatre were also sitting next to each other. "Awwww! Kawii!! (AN: cute in Japanese although I'm not sure if I spelt it right, please correct me if I am wrong) look at all you love birds!" "Morning Duo," said Quatre without looking up, "we were just enjoying the peace Maxwell," said Wufei looking up and smirking. "Sorry to disturb you Wu-man" replied Duo while sticking his tongue out. Wufei smirked, but said nothing. "So what we gonna do today then?" "Professor Nando is coming up in half an hour, she's going to start teaching Heero the basics. We're going to stay here and practise as well, the best way to get good, is to consistently go over the basics. "But! But!" At a 'look' from Wufei, he shut up his protests, "fine then..." he muttered grumpily. "When's breakfast?" He added after an afterthought, "we've already had it." Replied Wufei, "but there might still be some food remaining if you hurry." The hungry teenage wasted no more time, he ran down the stairs at the speed of light, and soon arrived into the dining hall, jumped into his usual place, and started shovelling food into his face as fast as possible. "Hungry Mr. Maxwell?" asked Professor McGonagal as Alice laughed, and Professor Snape (who had arrived that morning) looked on with barely concealed disgust. "yeth proffy!" garbled Duo, his mouth full of food. "Can you repeat that, I didn't understand you." Replied Minerva, trying to stop herself from laughing. Duo swallowed his food in one huge gulp, and replied much more clearly "yes professor, in a rush as well. We got trai...extra lessons in about half an hour so Wufei said anyway." Minerva locked away the slight slip in her memory to think over at a later date, it was not the first time one of those four boys had almost said training when what they were talking about involved lessons, and after the discussion on the train, she was determined to find out why.

Soon Duo had finished shovelling food into his mouth, and was rushing back up the stairs to Gryffindor house again, followed at a more leisurely pace by Professor Nando. When he arrived, he saw that the twins had arrived. "Heya!" he called happily "you guys are back early!!!" The twins turned around as soon as they heard Duo enter. "Hey Duo!" Called one of the them, George, Duo thought "Wufei was just telling us how he'd killed you because you were annoying him too much" Duo feigned a sad look in Wufei's direction "Wu-man... how could you say such a thing? You've hurt me so badly..." he whined. "Maxwell.... My. Name. Is. Not. Wu-man! Or Fei-chan! Or anything of that ilk!" he snarled. Duo raised his hands defensively trying to appease the angry Chinese man as he backed away slowly. "Heyy Wufie, I mean Wufei, calm down... I'm just kidding ya man, you know that!" Wufei was slowly stalking towards Duo, anger written across his hawk like features. "Duo, Wufei! Stop it!" called through Quatre with a meaningful glance at Heero who was looking nervous despite knowing it was just an act. Duo used this excuse to run and hide behind Quatre, "Q-man! Save meeeee!" he wailed as Wufei sent him a disgusted look and walked back over to Heero. "Nice welcome back" laughed George. "Oh, Duo, we found a new secret passage – by the hook nosed witch on the second floor. Can't wait to show Jordan!" Duo smirked slightly, "you mean the one that leads to the kitchens? I found it agesss ago. Bad luck! You still not found a passage I haven't" At the twins' identical crest-fallen expressions, he laughed, but not in a cruel way.

A short while later, when both twins were unpacked and were sitting on Duo's bed playing with an ancient wizard chess set George asked, "so whose the new guy?" nodding his head discreetly towards Heero. "He's Heero, the guy we been looking for." Duo answered, a slight look of anger crossing his face, "he's nothing like you described though, and is skinnier than a rake to boot. What happened?" asked Fred as quietly as the other two. Duo explained the whole story, including what had happened in Diagon Alley, he figured that Professor McGonagal was going to give a talk to the rest of the first-years, as Heero would need special treatment, so decided to tell the twins first off. "Bloody hell..." whispered George and Fred together, "if certain people in Slytherine realise this..." Both the two normally happy faces darkened considerably as George left the sentence unfinished purposefully. "Kuso!" swore Duo vehemently "I hadn't thought of that." The certain people who the twins had mentioned were people who just about everyone were convinced their parents were Death eaters. They were cruel, malicious, enjoyed causing pain, and above all cowards! Duo hated them with a passion! "Well, we'll just have to prevent them from hurting him..." Duo carried on with a glint in his eye "We're not going to allow him to get hurt anymore... and anyone who does will pay..." Fred and George exchanged glances; this was a new side of Duo... "We'll help you in that!" They chorused. Duo, Quatre and Trowa exchanged glances, and Duo grinned at the twins "thanks guys!" he smiled happily, "now! Lets' see who win's at chess!" and the game was on.


	3. Chapter Three

**Life without Living,**

**Breath without Life**

Chapter three: The Healing Process 

Wow. I can't believe how slow at updating I'm being… I'm so sorry. I'm having serious problems with writers block, so will be trying to right a series of song fics, first one, maybe second as well will be put up on before this chapter. I'm really desperate for a beta reader, because sometimes when I'm rereading my stories **after** I've posted them, I notice the mistakes and wrong wording, if you could beta my fics, then hopefully it'd get a lot better (Also someone who could kick me up the but when I'm being too slow in posting. Please leave a reply in a review. Thanks so much. Sorry this is so short…

Eyes

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Gundam Wing or Harry Potter. There are a few of my own characters but most of them belong to either J.K Rowling, or the people who wrote Gundam Wing. I'm never quite sure who that is.

**Warnings:**

OOC Heero and Wufei. Yaoi and, slight language, plus slight violence.

**Last time: **

"We're **not** going to allow him to get hurt anymore… and anyone who does will pay…" Fred and George exchanged glances; this was a new side of Duo… "We'll help you in that!" They chorused.

Three weeks into term

This was it. The big day. It was the day when Heero Yuy was going to have his first flying lesson (on a broomstick that is.) His first few weeks had been interesting to say the least; he had been having extra tuition from both Professor McGonagal and Professor Nando, along with advice from his classmates, and was about the standard of most of the other first years, having been extremely quick to catch on, and was now only lacking on the practise.

He was still by far the most timid and skinniest boy ever to be seen at Hogwarts, and Wufei was beginning to think that he'd never put on weight. His face still had a haunted, sunken look about it, and just about all his ribs and most of his bones were still countable. In addition, during his years on the streets, he'd put aside some odd habits. Wufei would often see him put half of what he ate in his pocket, saving it for later, despite all of Wufei's gentle reminders that he could help himself to food whenever he wanted, he never really realised it. In the end, Wufei just let it go, he figured that if it made him more comfortable, Heero could do whatever he wanted, just as long as he ate decent proportions of food at meal times, any extra food couldn't hurt. Wufei's other main worry with Heero was how he rarely looked someone in the eye, and when walking around, would always keep his head bowed. It was as if he thought himself unworthy of looking at other people and was yet another habit Wufei hoped to break. The last of Heero's new habits was apologising for the slightest little thing, even if it wasn't his fault. During his years away from the other pilots, he hadn't come to terms with the people he had killed as they had. When they had woken from nightmares, or felt the guilt weigh down on their shoulders, they had always had each other to help them off the ground, but Heero, he had been alone. Due to this fact, he had allowed his guilt to build up, and up, and up, until it got to the stage that he blamed himself for the slightest little thing.

Personality-wise, Heero was greatly different than he had been during the war years, he was still just as quiet if not quieter, and rarely spoke to anyone out the circle of his room mates (including Fred and George). It was a sight which distinctly amused the professors, Fred and George, already registered trouble makers, had taken Heero under their wing as much as Wufei. No one ever even dared to **think** about causing trouble for Heero, if they did, they would suffer the wrath of Wufei, Quatre and Trowa, along with constantly being the butt of every single one of Fred, George's and Duo's pranks. Not worth risking as far as most people were concerned. Heero now however, was not only quiet, but shy and timid as well, in previous years, if plans weren't going his way, out with the gun! However, now, Heero barely gave his opinion, yet alone tried to reinforce it. If anyone came **near** him who he didn't recognise, he would cower away, and if he felt threatened, he would either back away or freeze up completely. Most of his nights were filled with nightmares, and he nearly always woke up in tears. Some of the time one of the other pilots woke up, but he frequently was alone. This built up to him thinking that sleep was his punishment for his war crimes, so he didn't tell the other pilots about his dreams, not wanting to be a bother. Wufei suspected that he wasn't sleeping well judging by the dark circles surrounding his eyes, but didn't' want Heero to become too dependent on him, so left it to him to tell him himself, however, if the problem wasn't resolved soon, then he would step in.

Heero walked towards the flying pitch along with Wufei and the others with mixed feelings. He thought it would be a fascinating to take to the air outside of his mobile suit, to be able to feel the wind caressing his skin, to see the world from a different viewpoint. The reason he hadn't started flying yet, was purely he wasn't strong enough; he didn't have the body weight nor physical strength to keep on his broom against the high wind force. Heero's only cause of nerves was for making a fool of himself, this was the only class which he hadn't been able to gather much information from his textbooks. He didn't want to be unable to call his broomstick to him, or maybe not even get off the ground when he was sitting on it, the number of ways which he could mess up and make Wufei and the others ashamed of him were countless to his eyes.

Duo, having ran ahead, was the first to reach the pitch and greeted the professor with a cheery "good morning Professor" the others arrived at a more leisurely pace, and eventually the Gryffindors and Ravenclaw's were lined up with a broom beside each of them. "Ok class," called out Professor Hooch, "remember, a nice firm **up** to call the broom to your hand." Saying so, she stretched out her hand, and called the broom to her. Heero nervously stuck out his hand, hearing everyone around him shouting. "Up" he barely whispered, the broom didn't respond. "Please… up?" he tried again. Still, the stubborn broom remained motionless. 'Please broom… up… please… I don't want to disappoint Wufei… I don't want him to leave me… please… work… please…' he thought desperately. "Up" he repeated, voice wavering, to his horror he noticed that he was the only one whose broom was still on the ground "try saying it in a firmer voice Mr. Yuy," came the voice of his trainer, Professor Hooch or something along those lines, "you mustn't say it nervously, just use a firm voice, like you were telling an animal what to do," Heero looked around anxiously, everyone's eyes were on him, looking at him as he failed again, he got ready to either dodge or block the blow which was sure to come for his failure. His breathing quickened slightly in alarm, and Wufei, realising what was happening, for this wasn't the first time he had panicked when he couldn't do something, gently laid a hand on his shoulder, "Heero, calm down," he murmured soothingly, "this isn't J's lab, your not going to be punished for being unable to do something. At the contact, Heero started slightly, but at Wufei's words calmed him down significantly. "Sorry…" he muttered, "don't worry, now try again, but you have to believe that you can do it, same as I do." Was the reply, it was hearing that Wufei believed he could do it raised Heero's self-confidence slightly, if Wufei believed he could do, then he could! With renewed determination, he held his hand over the stick once more, "broom up!" he said quietly, but firmly. The broom instantly leapt up off the floor and straight into his hand. Heero felt a smile blossom over his face as he was rewarded with a quick applause by the rest of his class, he didn't fail! Professor Hooch sent a smile flying over to him as she mounted her broom and motioned for the class to do so.

As soon as Heero was sitting on the broom, such a feeling of _righteousness _swept over him, it was if he had been meant to do this his whole life, for his whole life, he had never ­_belonged_ anywhere, with the other pilots, he had much harsher training than they, after the wars, he was useless. As he thought, he realised the only place he had been slightly comfortable was when he was in Zero, but even then he had been besieged by claustrophobia, and the guilt of stealing innocent lives. Here, it just felt right. Professor Hooch wandered down the line, slightly correcting various people's positions or handgrips, when she came to Heero and the other ex-pilots, no corrections were necessary. "Ok class, on my whistle I'd like you all to push up and hover a little bit above the land. One… two… three!" The first years immediately pushed up, Heero, although he had the grip right, pushed up to hard and he went sailing above the others. "Heero!" called up Wufei, "come down a bit, you've come up too high!" Heero nodded slightly, fingers clasped tightly round the handle of the broom, and tried to move downwards, but instead continued rising, one of the girls screamed as his broom gave a huge buck all of a sudden!" "Having fun there?" yelled a new voice everyone immediately looked around, and saw an unknown man, dressed in black but not in the style of a death eater, wand out and pointed at Heero. "all of you! Get down to the ground… now! Or he gets it!" saying so, he made Heero's broom give another huge buck, almost unseating the boy.

Everyone quickly flew to the ground, unwilling to risk the boy's life any further, "what do you want?" snapped Madame Hooch, immediately grabbing her wand "leave the poor boy alone!" "now now…" murmured the man, making Heero's broom start a bucking fit "put that nasty thing away… you might hurt someone, and as to what I want? Well… both the Dark Lord and I want him! Accio broom!" The broom, with Heero barely clinging on, went flying towards the man, "HEERO!" yelled Wufei in panic, "hush it brat!" yelled back the man, grabbing Heero's broom, and pulling the terrified boy off it. "Let him go… now…" snarled Wufei, taking his wand out as discreetly possible, "and if I don't?" laughed the man, "crucio!" he yelled pointing the wand at Heero, "NO!" screamed Wufei, "expelliarmus!" with a bang, the wand jumped out of the enemy wizard's hand, and fell a few meter's behind him, however, quicker than anyone could move, he pulled a knife and held it the sobbing boy's neck. "Try anything else…" he threatened stepping backwards slowly until he reached his wand. Bending down slowly, he picked it up, keeping one hand by Heero's neck at all times. It was while this was happening, that reflexes Heero didn't even know he still had, kicked in. He grabbed the threatening arm, and with strength fuelled by fear, threw him over his shoulder. With a yell of surprise, the man crashed down onto the earth, still clutching his wand, "crucio!" he yelled, causing Heero to collapse with pain once more. "Heero!" yelled his roommates, and ran towards the downed boy, but the man lashed his wand arm towards them, "state!" 1 he yelled, and all of a sudden, all were frozen still! The man smirked slightly, "now… where were we? Oh yes… CRUCIO!" Heero screamed allowed his agony, it hurt… so much! His tormenter let loose a cruel laugh "brat! Thought you could escape? Weakling!"

Heero lay there, curled up in a ball, panting from the pain that filled his every nerve, stretching them to the breaking point. Feeling a foot pressing down on his spinal chord, he tried to roll away, but was prevented. Instead, the foot rolled him so he could face his friends, all frozen with identical expressions of rage or horror etched into their faces. "Who will die first?" Asked the man, "you get to choose and kill them yourself… and if you don't choose; then their pain will be worse than anything you've ever experienced brat!" Heero closed his eyes, trying his best to clear his mind; he needed to think, and fast! If not, everyone else here would die because of him! He allowed the feel of the earth to spring into his fingertips, convincing him he was still alive and able to feel even if his nerves _did_ feel like they'd been split in half.

All of a sudden, the Earth started pulsing warmly between his fingers, he opened his eyes slightly in surprise, and seeing how close the stranger had come, shut his eyes again in terror. The earth, it seemed, responded to this terror, with a sudden surge of ground where the man was standing, caused him to look around in surprise "what the!" he managed to get out as the ground towered over him, he dodged away and glared at Heero lying on the ground, "why you…" He lunged at Heero, intending to body bind him, but the ground once again came to Heero's rescue. This time, it pushed him up to his feet, and made him dodge the spell flying his way! Then, the ground underneath the man suddenly surged up, lifting him rapidly, leaving Heero free to move once again. Heero leapt to his feet, unsure of this new development. With a quick glance towards his friends, he saw they were still unmoving. It was up to him.

Clenching his fists, Heero recalled his war days, something he had been trying so hard to forget. He remembered how he felt when engaging in one on one combat, how he ignored pain. He would need to be how he used to be otherwise his year-mates would be killed. Unconsciously, he straightened until his body was as upright as if he was on parade. Taking slow, menacing steps towards the downed man, he glared as coldly as he could, forcing every bit of emotionless possible into his eyes. "What do you want?" he growled threateningly once he was just steps away from the dark Wizard. "No-nothing" stuttered the man, frightened now he didn't have the upper hand. "Why were you sent?" Pressed Heero even colder than before. "Be-because you're an Elementalist! Please don't kill me!" he half cried in terror. Suddenly, quicker than an eye-blink he had his wand pointed at Heero's chest. "You can't kill me from that distance boy." He sneered, his frightened façade instantly disappearing, "The Dark Lord ordered me what to do in this situation…I'd have enjoyed hurting you some more… but never mind!" with those words, he narrowed his eyes and muttered "Avada Kavada!"

Time seemed to slow down as the green light headed strait for him. The rest of the world faded out until it was just Heero and the light. Heero knew there wasn't time for him to dodge, so he did the only thing remaining for him. Knowing it was useless, he lifted his left hand as if to catch it. His arm moved at the same pace as the rest of the world, as if it was heavily weighed down. The wind seemed to pick up, stirring angrily, focusing at his hand it felt like, but still the green bullet came onwards. Heero scrunched his eyes, unwilling to watch his death come head-on. At the last millisecond, time speeded back up to normal, and the green light hit his outstretched palm. As contact initiated, the wind blew up with renewed fury. It lashed at the green bolt, holding it steady, forcing it backwards, away from Heero's hand. The sneer slowly disappeared off the man's face, and horror replaced it. "Avada Kavada!" he roared again, sending another spell raging to join the first, but the winds were too strong! It pushed harder and harder at the spells sending the further and further back towards the wand which made them. It was at this point Heero opened his eyes, astounded at still being alive. "You're dead," he said coldly to the man, and with a final push the twin green orb's were sent flying back to their maker. The man's eyes widened in shock, rapidly followed by horror as the green lights hit him in the chest knocking to the floor. It was the last thing he ever did.

On the man's death, the spell holding the first year's and teacher broke. Wufei immediately ran over to the shocked Heero, still standing with his outstretched hand unmoving. "Heero…" he said as he got closer, realising that Heero might well strike him next in this state of shock. " Heero" he repeated not seeing any reaction. "He's dead Heero, I'm here now." Madame Hooch ran over as well having sent two Gryffindors off to get Professor Dumbledore. "Stay back for a second Professor" ordered Wufei, "He's still in shock, he might still attack." Madame Hooch nodded and stopped where she was, and turned back to the rest of her class, "is anyone hurt?" she asked and proceeded to calm down the scared first years. Wufei tuned her out, and placed all his attention on Heero as he walked slowly towards him. "Heero," he called again "It's me Wufei, you're safe now." Heero lowered his arm slightly at Wufei's name, and his mouth whispered the word. "Yes, that's right, it's me. Wufei, Wu-chan." Upon hearing the nickname, Heero swung round in seconds and flung himself at Wufei, desperate for comfort to soothe him. Wufei opened his arms and swept them round the shaking teen lowering both of them to the ground. "You're fine Heero, he's gone now. You saved us all." Heero still said nothing, just leaned on Wufei, still shaking as he worked the fear out of his system. Several moments later, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa, deeming it to be safe walked over and laid their hands on the shoulder of the hero.

That day marked a changing point in Heero's life. After an all night talking session with the other ex-pilots, he finally began to truly believe that he wasn't completely guilty for his war actions. No one, not even him, were sure of what had inspired this change, but the words Wufei and the other's were trying to hammer into his head were finally beginning to sink in. It was that day also that the other pilots told Heero about the New War, Heero instantly wanted in. They continued training in private, bringing Heero back up to his old physical standards, and studying as many new spells as possible. Heero was amazing. There was no other way to put it. He was a complete natural, mastering new spells in seconds. As for his…other abilities, Wufei reckoned that Heero was controlling the elements. He could move the wind and earth with ease, and they hadn't tried other's yet. Heero also performed wand-less magick, but they decided to keep this from the teachers, unknowing of who they were able to trust…

1 Stare- Latin (to stand)- state (pronounced startay) is the plural imperative (imperative meaning an order) of that (I think I got it right) I don't know if there was a spell to freeze people, so I made one up


End file.
